well, this story is only showing that I do really regret my self for slowing down my path on master degree. Back then, I was so desired to get a scholarship abroad for my master degree. But ya I'd say it is not my lucky, so I got rejected for more than 10 scholarships. Some people may things "its only killing the time" but I tried to see from another side then I start to be grateful.
I am not that patient.
I have doubt when having something
But I know as long I work hard for it, I will get the result. However, not everyone know my struggles. Even the closest family. So, they are comparing me with other people (as always). Again, she said that I need to control and start to focused on one thing, but how about you? they started to compare between this one into that one and off course, I believe they also has different start. I thought, maybe it is caused by my former way, Alhamdullah I got everything easy before. Alhamdulillah I never find it that difficult to deal with something. However after my graduation, it is started to change. Everything seems unreachable and out of my control. But again, they only want me to do what they said (back then, they were never do).
Maybe its the differentiate between old and new parenting. The old one is only focused on the children. The children need to be like this or that meanwhile the parent is not change (behaviour, attitude, etc). I saw Rachel Venya's video the one after she divorced. She said that she needs to maintain herself before see her children, since she does not want to show any negative aura. It was so wonderful statement since many of parent (the conventional one) only told the children to do so, but not maintaining their self at all. One of the example is Father will said "dont forget to wash the dishes after meals" but most of father will not wash it after eat, so it will left on the sink. Most of them only command the children, but will not doing it.
what do you think?
should we compare our achievements with other?
which one is better, changing self to be a better person then let the child copying or just tell the children to change?
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